Mayflower in Plymouth Harbor by William Halsall, 1882

Our family recently completed a 6 week long cross country road trip. We traveled from Atlanta, GA to Jackson, Mississippi and from there to Chicago, IL. After a week in Chicago my husband flew home and I traveled on with 5 of our kids (ages 4, 6, 12, 15, and 17) all the way to  Maine and back to Atlanta. I had big goals for keeping a journal on our trip, but I was too busy having fun with the kids (and driving 6,000 miles) SO….it didn’t happen. Now I am in a rush to record some of these precious memories before I forget the details.

I’ll start with posting my goals at the beginning of the trip, and the rest of the posts in this series will cover where we went, what we did, and where we ate!

Goals for the trip

To rejuvenate and be refreshed–to REST.

This year marked the half way point of my homeschooling career–16 years down, 15 to go. Adopting a child with some significant special needs almost 4 years ago have made the last several years extremely busy. I spend a lot of time driving, doing therapy, teaching school, keeping house, and trying to keep all the plates spinning.

I was tired. Really tired. And I have not had much time to really enjoy just being with my kids for quite awhile–many of our interactions had become focused on getting school done, rushing to get out of the house for an activity, and me correcting their behavior or telling them the bullet points on their to do lists. My husband offered me this priceless gift–the chance to go away for SIX WEEKS, to step back from my many responsibilities and put all of our kids activities and therapy on hold so we could spend time just relaxing and reconnecting. He referred to it as “the summer of Molly”. He sacrificed not only money but time with me and the kids so that we could have this opportunity. I can never fully express how valuable and precious this time was for me and for the kids.

To have fun with the kids, make fun memories and break out of the rut of having most of our one on one time devoted to school.

I wanted to spend extra time alone with each child, as well as enjoy doing fun things together as a group. I have one “easy” kid who doesn’t get a lot of time and attention from me because he always does everything “right” and just floats under the radar. I have other kids that need a lot of help with school or therapy, or a lot of correction, and many of our interactions focus on their particular needs. All of that is important but I wanted a chance to just enjoy being with them, appreciating their individual personalities, and loving on them in ways that are meaningful to them. My 6 year old had been expressing a great desire for me to take an entire day off to just play with her and spend time together and I was having to look at my calendar and see when I could pencil her in….um, how is two weeks from Saturday? This was a chance to set cooking, cleaning, school, activities, and all the other pressures aside.

Rest, by William Adolphe Bouguereau

To change our family culture to one that is supportive and cooperative.

We are under a lot of pressure and many of our interactions with one another had become rushed, and over time, even rude. I felt like my kids were often not speaking respectfully to one another, and we had all grown very impatient with one another–a symptom of the many days when we seem to have more things on our schedule than what we really have time for. I have always believed that when people aren’t getting along or treating each other as kindly that it is good for them to spend MORE time together, rather than less. It gives an opportunity to really work on the issues and confront them head on. By the end of Day 1 we had dubbed this trip our “Family Sanctification Journey”. Being crammed together in the car with too much luggage showed us just how far things had digressed. One major focus needed to be improving the way we treat one another, and growing in patience was another area we wanted to change. To help achieve this goal we listened to various Christian audio messages, prayed together about these issues, and worked hard to change our thinking and our habits. Some people say it takes 40 days to change a habit, so we set out to do just that.

To play games and have down time to relax together, to laugh, and to have some times with NO agenda.

This may seem like a silly goal, since it should go without saying. Since I am a “maximizer” it was important for me to write this down and articulate it to our family. I don’t enjoy playing games much and I HATE having no agenda. And when I have an agenda, I want it to be full–even overly full, if possible, because I like to “maximize” my time and get as much done as possible.

I sure do get a lot done, but Maximizing can also be stressful. And when faced with the opportunity of planning a long journey, with very few specifications (other than budget and a couple of locations which were “must do”) the temptations to maximize were many. Planning such a long trip with  many interesting field trips along the way was, for me, a homeschooler’s dream! But during my planning and even more so once we were underway, I maintained a commitment to keep the kids involved in the decisions about what we would do on any given day (giving up control and compromising when their goals were not the same as mine). I was also committed to letting plans go when they interfered with our broader goals of relaxing, having fun, changing our culture, and having some unstructured time. I could have easily filled the time with “must do’s” and “must sees”, but we had to let some important sites remain unseen to accomplish our bigger goals.

Also, life happened. If we were having fun one day and decided to spend extra time at one place, it meant another place may have gotten squeezed out of the schedule. Case in point: Boston. We went to Boston Burger Company (thanks, Guy Fieri and Food Network–it really was a highlight). But we didn’t do (gasp) anything else there. We skipped it all saved it for another time because we were having too much fun relaxing at Cape Cod to leave for a day of planned field trips.

Ekvall Knut The Reading Lesson

To read together, about the places we were visiting.

I am a homeschool mom, after all. I brought a ridiculous amount of books along on this trip so we could read most nights about something we had done that day or something we would be doing the next day. We didn’t finish all the books I took as there wasn’t always time or energy to read…but we got through a lot of the books I took, and we will be working through the others this summer. I LOVE that kind of synergy–it was one of the truly exciting parts of this trip for me to be able to plan neat field trips and then read books to enhance and enrich them. When my bigger kids were young we read a TON and that was my favorite part of home schooling. In the past few years I have been pulled in SO many different directions that I haven’t spent nearly as much time reading to my younger set as I wanted to, and this was an opportunity to seize time for reading and set another new pattern that we can, with the Lord’s help, carry forward from here. It was SO GOOD to stop feeling guilty for not reading and instead to start doing it!

To redeem the time in the car

My kids have tablets and ipods and, of course, they like to play games on them. And we bought a DVD player for the car before we started our 6,000 mile journey. But I did not want ALL of our time to be consumed by things that separate us from one another and which don’t engage our brain or imagination. I had a goal of redeeming the time in the car. My kids were not too excited about it, I admit, but thankfully they are compliant and go along with my ideas without much fuss. I took some school work along (which we didn’t do much with, I admit) and some great audio resources (which we thoroughly enjoyed!) We listened to R. C. Sproul’s series Chosen by God together, and the Lord used it to really encourage us. We are also reading Sproul’s book Everyone’s a Theologian and we had some opportunities to read that aloud, too. We began a series on church history (by Robert Godfrey), which I am hoping to finish with my older teen boys in the fall. I also wanted to listen to one book our rising Challenge A (Classical Conversations) student needs to read in the fall (we chose The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe). I had hoped to listen to more audio books and sermons, and I had envisioned some serious License Plate spotting games, but that didn’t materialize. Instead, we filled the time with conversation and that turned out to be even better than what I had planned.

To attend church somewhere every week that we were gone

We managed this all but one Sunday when circumstances arose that prevented us (ahem Acadia, Maine…you are large and kinda remote). We were truly blessed through visiting several different local congregations from Mississippi to Virginia and points in between.

I wrote a post about how to use the social media image-driven website Pinterest in 2011, shortly after the site went public.  At that time I wasn’t aware the risks Pinterest poses for our children.

Pinterest users create virtual bulletin boards and pin anything they want to from the internet.  People pin everything from recipes to decorating ideas. You can even pin this post if you find it helpful!

There are some real dangers inherent with Pinterest, especially when it comes to our preteens and teens.  If your kids are using Pinterest, here are some things to be aware of:

Pinterest and Privacy

• Pinterest doesn’t have the same protections in place as Facebook.  Anyone who wants to can follow you, and there is no way to “block” a user from following you unless they have posted inappropriate content–and even then you have to ask Pinterest to remove the follower rather than doing it yourself.  This is a major difference between Facebook and Pinterest.  Followers can see everything you pin in their news stream, and they can repost what you have shared for their own followers to see.  Those followers can find the original person who posted an image through links.
• Anyone who wants to can see what your teen is posting to their boards.  You do NOT have to be someone’s follower to see their pins.  This is another major difference between Facebook and Pinterest.
• Parents can protect their teen’s privacy through the use of “Secret Boards.”  Pinterest allows a user to have three secret boards at any given time.  These boards can only be seen by the board creator (your teen), or by their chosen “collaborators” (your teen’s friends).  Click here for a tutorial on how to set up secret boards.

Pinterest and Pornography

• There are also no good protections in place for Pinterest spam.  If you or your child receives a notification saying you were “tagged” in a post on Pinterest, do not click on the link unless the tag is from someone you know.  Many of these tags lead to junk spam (like weight loss products) or worse—pornographic images.  Your only recourse is to report it to Pinterest, but you cannot block the person who spams you, even if it happens repeatedly.
• Pinterest is an image driven website.  People are not generally posting words, though an image may include a description.  They are posting pictures.  Pinterest’s Acceptable Use Policy doesn’t explicitly prohibit  pornography.  Their Pin Etiquette says no nudity is allowed, however they do allow artistic images of nudity.  Teens should be restricted to only viewing the boards of friends they know.  Going to the Pinterest home page and perusing for whatever is out there is asking for trouble.
• I would caution my teen not to even look at the page which shows who is following them.  Many people use a soft porn image beside their name instead of a personal photo.  Pinterest sends out an email whenever someone starts following you, and that should suffice as notification of a new follower.  I do think moms should be aware of who is following their teens.  I, personally, would find it sobering if my teen were being “followed” by adults from foreign countries.

Pinterest Pals

• If your teen “follows” someone on Pinterest, they will see everything that person “pins” in their news stream.  If my teen were on Pinterest I would insist they only follow known and approved friends, not strangers.  It is very easy to find people to follow on Pinterest and a teen who lacks wisdom and guidance could quickly get into trouble.
• Be aware that Pinterest can assign you to follow people they have chosen (strangers to you) when you first sign up.  Make sure to check your teen’s followers and “unfollow” anyone that Pinterest assigned to you.

Pinterest and Principles

• If you and your teen are both on Pinterest, don’t assume your experience is similar to theirs.  I did not imagine Pinterest was dangerous at all, because I never pin anything except recipes and educational ideas.  Once I started looking into Pinterest, I realized there is a whole lot more available.  The teens I know are not using Pinterest in the same way my adult friends are.  It isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can be.  Teens are more likely to post about movies, fashion, music, and pop culture.  Do you trust the wisdom of your teen’s friends enough to trust every image they will put on Pinterest?  If  I had a teen on Pinterest I would be taking time daily to look at her news feed.  What are her friends posting?  What images confront my teen when she logs in to Pinterest?  Do the movies, music, and fashion images she sees reflect the values I am trying to form in her?
• Pinterest appeals primarily to females; thankfully, none of my boys are interested in creating virtual pin boards.  Because of the inherent dangers in an image-driven social media site like Pinterest, we have blocked it through our Covenant Eyes software for our boys’ account.
• Many teens are unaware that some of their pins may be infringing on the copyright of others.  Not everyone wants their products on Pinterest, especially professional photographers.  Pinterest will remove pins if they believe they violate copyright laws.

Pinterest-savvy Parenting

• Pinterest  has an option to unfollow certain boards without unfollowing a friend altogether.  Your teen might follow her friend’s crafting board but “unfollow” her rap music board, for example.
• Teens can also see all the boards of every person their friends are following at the click of a mouse.  Just click on your friend’s name, click on their “followers,” and then choose one to see all of their boards.  Letting your teen get on Pinterest, even with restrictions, can open them to a variety of negative images as well as swear words which appear in some descriptions.
• We have a rule in our home that we have the passwords and daily follow all our teens’ social media postings.  We look at what our teens are saying and at what they are being exposed to through their friends’ postings.  Pinterest can be hard to keep up with, since it is image oriented rather than text driven–there are typically way more postings to follow than on Facebook.  If you can’t dedicate a few minutes every day to checking out your teen’s Pinterest account (what she is posting as well as what she is seeing) you might want to limit Pinterest usage.

Pinterest and Perception

• I would also be checking what my teen is posting.  Pinterest is a faster experience than Facebook, and it is not uncommon for a teen who has been on Pinterest for just a few months to have thousands of pins on their boards.  What image is your teen presenting to the world about themselves?  Looking at your teen’s Pinterest boards can be a source of insight into their heart and a springboard for meaningful conversations as you seek to disciple your teen.  One thing I would want to caution my teen about is to be aware that their pins are presenting an image to the world.  Does the image they are presenting match how they want to be perceived by friends, colleges, and potential employers?
• To protect your teen’s privacy, consider allowing her open an account under a fake name, to have her own board on her mother’s wall, or to make use of “secret boards.”

Pinterest and Predators

• How comfortable do you, as a parent, feel about what your teen is sharing on Pinterest?  Are any strangers following your teen, and if so, has your teen made themselves vulnerable in any way through posting too intimately on Pinterest?

Talk with your teen about the dangers inherent in Pinterest.  For more tips on handling your teen’s social media presence, check out my post about it here.

*Note: This post first appeared on Mentoring Moments for Christian Women

I want to apologize to everyone who keeps getting emails from this blog! I am not sure whether I have been hacked or if the problem lies with Feedburner, but although I haven’t posted anything new for awhile my blog keeps sending out posts.  I haven’t been able to do anything about it as I have been in China adopting our new daughter.  For those interested in our adoption journey, please check out my new blog Skip to my LuLu.

This blog will NOT be deleted, but unfortunately I believe I am going to have to delete my feed, which means those of you that have signed up to receive emails whenever I post something new will no longer be receiving those.  I am going to try one or two more fixes with my web host, but if that doesn’t work then I will have to delete the feed.  You will no longer receive the unwelcome emails with my last twenty posts–and also no more emails for new posts, either.

If anyone else has experienced this problem and knows another way to solve it, please leave a comment or email me!

I will highlight something in the sidebar about signing up for emails after I get this all resolved. Thanks for your encouragement and support!

My first daughter was born shortly after my 40^th birthday.  I hope to be around for another 40 years, to walk as her companion through the many stages of a woman’s life.  But I don’t take it for granted that I will be.

I have already started a library for her, filled with books about faith, biblical womanhood, marriage, and motherhood.  I hope we will read them and talk about them together.  If that isn’t part of God’s plan for her, then I pray she will read them herself and glean much wisdom and guidance from them.

I want to share with her the books that have impacted my life and made me the woman that I am.  I want her to know what I was reading and thinking about at various stages in my journey of motherhood.  And just in case I am not there to tell her, I am collecting an assortment of books for her and inscribing each one with a few words and the date inside the cover.  Some of the books are brand new, purchased just for her.  Others are stained with drips from my ever-present cup of coffee and, occasionally, my own tears.

There is page in the journal I keep for her which lists the books I want her to read.  If the collection is ever broken up or misplaced, or if I “borrow” a title to re-read myself and forget to put it back, I want a record in the journal of what I intended to give her.  There is also a page listing favorite children’s books which I hope she will share with my grandchildren.  I haven’t begun setting these books aside yet, as I will still be enjoying them with her for years to come.  One day, though, when she sorts through my vast library of children’s books, I want her to know which ones were her favorites, and which ones I most loved to read to her.

What great books do you intend to share with your daughter?

Here are a few of the titles I have put in my daughter’s library so far:

Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss

The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace

Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot

A Promise Kept by Robertson McQuilkin

Mother by Kathleen Norris

The Family Daughter Becoming Pillars of Strength in Our Father’s House by Sarah Bryant

What He Must Be: …If He Wants to Marry My Daughter by Voddie Baucham

Naked & Unashamed: Recapturing Family Intimacy by Bill Mills

Large Family Logistics by Kim Brenneman

The Ministry of Motherhood: Following Christ’s Example in Reaching the Hearts of Our Children by Sally Clarkson

*post first published on Mentoring Moments for Christian Women

I have always loved school. By 7 years of age I had already set my sights on an Ivy League education and on all the doors such an education would open for me.  I got my first “B” in 6^th grade, and feared—for a moment—that I had lost my chance to cross that hallowed threshold.

As it turns out, I graduated 2^nd in my high school class, having sacrificed the Valedictorian spot to spend my junior year abroad as an Exchange Student and my senior year pursuing dual enrollment at a prestigious private college.  By every modern definition I was well-educated.  Or was I?

Imagine my surprise when I began to teach my own children at home, and found out that I knew next to nothing about history, geography, and science.  My 10 year old is already more knowledgeable on those subjects than I was when I graduated from University.

Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines schooling as “instruction in school.”  Period.  I had that in spades, yet I was not well educated, at least according to Webster’s 1828 definition of that word.  According to Webster, education “comprehends all that series of instruction and discipline which is intended to enlighten the understanding, correct the temper, and form the manners and habits of youth;”

The public school is enemy territory for the Christian student, and those who enter this war zone can expect to have their morality, worldview, and identity as a Christian challenged at every turn. It can hardly be said that this hostile environment enlightens the understanding, where Darwinism reigns and the standardized test score is king.

It is true that the school environment will shape a child’s temper and habits, but it is likely the child will pick up as many negative habits as positive ones.  I have spent my adult life trying to undo the habits I formed in my youth, and my innately sinful temper was not corrected in that environment; instead, it fed my pride and my desire to please man.

Webster goes on to say that education should “fit them for usefulness in their future stations.”  When I graduated from University I could read Chekhov in Russian and translate Faust from the German, but I could not cook a potato–much less a full meal.  In spite of all my schooling I lacked the basic knowledge of many necessary skills.

How much of our sons’ time is spent preparing them for their future stations as men of God, husbands and fathers who will one day represent Christ as the head of their families (Ephesians 5:23, ESV)?  Are we fitting our daughters sufficiently for their likely long term future station as a wife and mother?  I am not opposed to girls getting a college education, if that education will better prepare them to be a suitable helpmeet to their future husband.

My education gave me the confidence and the ability to write this article, and for that I am grateful.  Many of us, however, have accepted the cultural default position, which tells us that our daughters are no different than our sons, and that they should prepare to be independent breadwinners, rather than homemakers.

Webster goes on to say that “to give children a good education in manners, arts and science, is important; to give them a religious education is indispensable”. I am not suggesting we neglect to instruct our children in the arts and sciences.  On the contrary, our Christian children need and deserve the best education we can give them.  They are the arrows we will soon launch into a pagan world, and the ones who will bring the gospel to future generations.

But Webster rightly points out that although the arts and sciences are important, a religious education is indispensable.  It goes without saying that the public school is antagonistic toward a religious education.  Yet even we who home school have often taken the government schools’ educational system and replicated it at home.  Are we prioritizing math and grammar above the knowledge of God’s Word?  Is it more important to us to raise a scholar or a disciple of Christ? 

Graduating scholars from my home school  may validate me in the eyes of the world, proving that the sacrifice of my time and potential career was “worth it”.   But what does it profit a man—or a child—if he gains the whole world yet loses his soul (Mark 8:36 ESV)?

Webster concludes his definition of education by saying that “an immense responsibility rests on parents and guardians who neglect these duties.”  First, we must remember that it is “God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Phil. 2: 13, ESV).  We cannot sanctify our children; that is the work of the Holy Spirit.  Nevertheless, we are responsible before God to educate them, in every sense of that word.

We dare not merely school them.

The Best of Visionary Womanhood Volume I is now available and I have to say that WOW, it knocked my socks off!  I was a contributing writer for this book, and I am so thrilled to be a part of this project!

It is truly a joy to be able to offer you this outstanding collection of encouraging and thought provoking articles from the writers of Visionary Womanhood on the topics of motherhood, wifehood, home education, Biblical worldview, missions, and homemaking. The book is available as a PDF download, in Kindle format, or paperback (see below for pricing).

Click here to check out The Best of Visionary Womanhood on Amazon, where you can take a look inside the book, see the table of contents, read the introduction, and be inspired by a glimpse of what’s inside!

You can get all 35 articles in one of 3 convenient formats:

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Often by September 1^st, the balloon has popped.  The kids forgot their math over the summer.  My perfectly color-coded schedule doesn’t work for real people.  And the curriculum that was supposed to be the solution to all of last year’s problems….isn’t.  Every September I feel a wave of self doubt wash over me.  It doesn’t matter that I have been home schooling for 12 years; I still question the soundness of my plans and my own adequacy as a mother and teacher.

Although I feel these doubts year in and year out, I don’t entertain them anymore.  They were just signs that I was shooting for the wrong goals and fashioning idols out of clay.

I wanted to raise intelligent, articulate children who could succeed in life, and I was trusting they would get there if I just used the right methods.  I was focused on worldly success in this life, rather than striving for crowns in the life to come.

God’s Word says that “…some trust in chariots, and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” (Psalm 20:7). 

Are we trusting in the Lord for the success of our homeschool, or are we trusting in our carefully fashioned plans?

For that matter, how do we define a successful homeschool? Who or what do we look to in our quest for that success?

A few years ago the Lord convicted me of my idolatry.  I believed that if I just taught the right stuff in the right amounts, my homeschool victory would be assured.  I had made education an idol in our family, and my curriculum was the object of my faith.

We all felt the pressure of mom’s expectations, and I felt it most keenly of all.  My children’s success had become a barometer of my own success.  Their scholarship offers, their fancy colleges, and their high powered jobs would all prove that I was an amazing homeschool mom.

The Lord, in His goodness, opened our eyes and showed us that we were pursuing the wrong goals.  Academic laurels and six figure incomes would mean nothing if our sons abandoned Christ.

I no longer put that pressure on myself—or on my children—to look successful in the eyes of the world.  I want them to do their best, and we still follow a thorough academic program.

But our focus has totally changed.

I now define success as raising godly children who love the Lord and who are prepared to serve Christ in whatever sphere He has for them.  That means they will need to be prepared for life in ways that go far beyond the curriculum. 

I believe that I am raising up leaders, so I do take their academics seriously.  But my highest priority is their spiritual development.  This includes growth in Christian character, their love for Christ, and their ability to function as loving, giving family members who will one day be able to serve their own families in their God-ordained roles.

Some things may need to change in our homeschools if we would raise up a generation who will stand for Christ.

We cannot take our cues from the world, whose system is set up in opposition to Him.  The “outcome-based education” our public schools subscribe to is not neutral toward Christ.

You and I could never have both the world and Christ—and neither can our children.

Jesus told us that, “If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you” (John 15:19 ESV).

We need to remember the hard truth that the world will hate our children if Christ is their first love.  High SAT scores may get them a foot in the door at some university, but it will not make them greater than their master.  In many cases we have accepted this station in life for ourselves; we need to also embrace it for our children, and seek first and foremost to fit them, not for this life, but for the life to come.

As we educate our children, we need to ask, “In what am I trusting for our homeschool’s success?

Am I relying on my own strength, cleverness, schedule, or curriculum for our success this year?”  If  we are depending on anything other than Christ alone, let us repent of our idols (no matter how beneficial they might seem to us) and tear them down!

Dear sisters, the truth of the matter is that we are inadequate for the task we have been given. Woefully so!

No system or schedule can make up for what we lack, nor can it change our children’s hearts. We must put our hope solely in Christ, for He, and He alone, can do what we would see done in our children’s lives.

Let us fix our eyes on Christ and take our marching orders from Him, trusting Him to do what we and our curriculum cannot. 

This is our only hope, but it is a sure one.

You can find the archives for my Homeschooling with Heart interview here.

Our family uses the internet a lot.  We rely on it for our home-based business, for our oldest son’s online classes, for homework and educational websites, and for games.  Almost every member of our family uses the internet daily.

Although our computers are in a safe, public place, I began to worry last year about online safety.  Statistics show that most kids are introduced to pornography for the first time while trying to do their homework.  The average age of first exposure is 8 years old!

I spend a lot of time making my home safe for my children.  But for a long time I hadn’t even noticed the elephant in the room.  Unrestricted internet access poses a dangerous threat to our kids, and the devil will take advantage of our lack of vigilance.

We’ve been using a Covenant Eyes filter for many months now.  It has been a great blessing for our whole family.  I hope you’ll sign up for Covenant Eyes if you aren’t already using an internet filter.  If you sign up through a link on any of my websites or use my promo code CounterCultural you can get your first 30 days of accountability and filtering for free!

Disclosure:  I am a Covenant Eyes affiliate and will receive a commission on any purchases that result from following the links to their site that I provided in this post or elsewhere on this blog.

My oldest was a natural born student.  When I started homeschooling him for Kindergarten, he was already reading well.  I had just one other child at the time, a baby.  The meat and potatoes of our school day were easily and quickly accomplished, leaving lots of time for dessert: history, science and enrichment.

Things have been different this time around.  My second-born, now 9 years old, has dyslexia.  He wasn’t reading when he started Kindergarten.  Not even when he started first grade.  And only painstakingly by the end of second grade.

His younger brother is bright and lively, full of the energy that characterizes little boys.  He started doing in preschool what his dyslexic brother was doing, and they’ve basically kept a close pace with each other ever since, despite their two year difference in age.

Today, the dyslexic fourth grader is FINALLY, ACTUALLY reading on grade level!!  He isn’t spelling on grade level yet, but he is definitely achieving spelling success.  He is learning rules and words, and doing way better on dictation exercises than ever before.  My second grader is slightly above grade level, and learning to write and spell with more ease.

How did we get here?  Little by little.

I’ll be honest:  history, science, literature, art, and music are my favorite things to teach.  With my oldest, it was a virtual buffet of enrichment.  But these younger boys have needed a LOT more time dedicated to just getting down the basics.  They needed more time to build the foundation upon which all these other exciting subjects could rest.

It hasn’t been easy for me to back off on enrichment topics and spend much of our day on the 3 R’s.  But it is yielding incredible results.  I’ve never given up on history or science altogether…it is important for kids to have those subjects as a regular part of their school week.  But I’ve learned to treat it as the dessert, to be enjoyed in moderation after the meat and potatoes have been eaten.

And now we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  I am confident that by the time we begin our next school year, both of these boys will be “reading to learn”.  In other words, they’ll be able to sit down with an age-appropriate book on a history or science topic and read it to themselves.  This will open a whole new world for them, and more opportunities to delve into the dessert.  Also on the horizon is the ability to write a few original sentences about a given topic.  This was something my dyslexic son was completely incapable of doing 2 years ago when he was tested.  But little by little, we are getting there!

In addition to math, our morning “meat and potatoes” includes:

Spelling:  We are using All About Spelling.  This has been a fantastic program for both boys, helping them learn spelling rules as well as how to apply them.  The magnets appeal to my kinesthetic, busy 2nd grader.  The rules have helped my dyslexic son make sense of spelling, giving him some mental pegs to hang things on.

Writing:  We put creative writing on hold for the time being.  Instead, we are doing Writing with Ease by Susan Wise Bauer.  It dovetails well with her grammar program, which we are also using. Doing both programs means that common grammar and writing themes are regularly reinforced.

Writing with Ease (we’re in book 2 currently) gives sentences for the children to copy, and then to write from dictation.  They are also being taught how to summarize a passage of literature.  The combination of summarization and dictation are preparing them for the next step: original writing.  I’ve heard book 3 is overly challenging, with very long dictation passages.  We are enjoying book 2, though, and it is helping the boys with handwriting, grammar, narration skills and learning the mechanics of writing sentences.  Dictation teaches them to form a picture in their minds of a sentence and then transfer that onto paper, strengthening their visual memory.  For more about this series, read my review on Curriculum Choice.

Reading:  For more detail on how I approach reading, please read my article about the four types of reading for emerging readers.  My boys each use a graded reader currently (Pathway readers are wonderful, gradually increasing a child’s skill without him even realizing it from level to level).  Until recently, the boys would always read these books aloud to me.  Now they are getting to a level that I can trust they understand what they are reading, so they are beginning to read these books silently to themselves.  This is a good transition for a child to make, as he will spend most of his school career reading silently.  We also read faster and often understand more when we read silently.

One concern, particularly with dyslexics, is that they will probably skip words.  I’ve made my peace with this.  The main point is whether he understands what he read.  I sit down regularly with each boy and ask several detailed questions about their reading to check comprehension.  We began doing this daily and now I check a couple times a week, as their reading ability and comprehension have improved dramatically.

We also do choral reading of chapter books: the two boys and I sit down together daily and each of us take turns reading the pages.  This is really building confidence, as they are easily making it through chapter books working together in this fashion.  The next step is sitting down with a chapter book alone.  Truth be told, both of them could do it already if they just had that confidence in themselves!  They’ll get there soon, though.  I always choose chapter books that are about history topics.  This is an important way to kill two birds with one stone: we are getting some enrichment time while practicing reading at the same time. Most importantly, it is teaching the boys that they can read to learn, not just for fun.

Learning by listening:
We also do a lot of read-alouds and, of course, My Audio School books daily.  This strengthens the boys’ vocabulary, increases comprehension, and stretches their ability to read new words which they’ve heard during their listening time.  They also love it.  I can honestly say that the introduction of audio books has caused my dyslexic child to enjoy school for the first time. It’s his favorite part of the day.

There have been many, many days over the years when this steady diet of meat and potatoes has become bland, for me as well as for them!  Sometimes I have felt guilty that their school experience hasn’t had all the bells and whistles that my oldest son got to enjoy.  But perseverance has truly begun to yield its fruits.  I try to keep all lessons fairly brief, Charlotte Mason style, making sure to cover each subject every day.  We can fit all of this in before lunch, and still have some time left in the day’s schedule for dessert.

This is the second post in the series The Dyslexic Child.  Click here to read Could My Child Be Dyslexic?

I also have two posts about spelling for dyslexics:  Spelling with Clay and File Folder Spelling.